KCB Readers (6 Ways To Deal With Stress In Your Relationship)

We can all agree that Nigeria is a very stressful country; especially the busy metropolitan states like Lagos, Abuja, Port-harcourt, Calabar etc. You have to deal with waking up as early as 4-5 in the morning in order to beat traffic and avoid getting to work late. If you don’t have a car, you will have to be concerned about getting a bus (for those in lag) without getting your clothes dirtied or ruined by the hustle. Then you get to work and it’s almost as if all the work in the office is on your desk. You have to eat biscuits and take a drink for lunch because you can’t afford to go out for lunch break and miss your deadline (traffic). After working over time, you have to still struggle with the bus and traffic. You get home very late and you are very tired, grumpy and hungry; all you want to do is just eat and go to bed. Shower is not even on your mind, much less loving up with boo. You want to be the greatest partner ever but the city you live in won’t permit you. It takes grace to go through work and traffic stress and still come home smiling and ready to bubble.

Stress is almost part of our daily routine and it is a relationship killer. Here are some of the steps to take in dealing with all forms of stress in your relationship.

1. Discover the stress symptom(s):

We all have peculiar habits when we are stressed. It could be drinking, smoking, pacing, being cranky, jumpy or for some people, wanting to be alone. Once you are able to identify your spouse’s stress induced habit, you can then move on to point two.

2. Approach your partner:

Once you see him acting stressed, ask what is wrong with him/her, in a way that shows you care and you are worried too. Most people prefer talking to friends than their partners, for the fear of him/her adding to the stress or misunderstanding the cause. Do not make them feel like they are getting interrogated. Do it in the most subtle and romantic way possible. This will help them loosen up.

3. Listen:

If you care enough to want to know what’s going on with your man or woman, you should care enough to actually listen to him or her. Don’t play parent or judge. Don’t condemn or scold. Listen and understand.

4: Comfort:

Many of us miss out on this bit. When your partner is done talking, he/she didn’t tell you everything only for you to keep quiet or walk away. They would have aswell gone to talk to a tree or car. Say nice comforting words to them. Pray with them if possible. This goes to show that you weren’t just listening you are involved.

5. Ask what you can do to help. At his point they may say it’s fine, don’t worry, we’ll sort this out. Still insist on helping. Don’t become a pest. Know where to draw the line. Helping is not by force.

6. Provide solution:

After asking if you can help and your partner says ok, make sure you can provide a tangible solution. Don’t go on chewing your mouth or biting your nails. You may not have an immediate solution, but have something good. You don’t want to look lost, remember they came to you because they were lost too.

In all be by your partner in both good and bad times. Being able to deal with stress in your relationship puts that relationship counselor at bay. You want your partner too know that you are available and trustworthy. Don’t be the blind nagging woman or man.