It is often said that two people
become “one” when they are in a relationship, but this phrase or concept is
often misunderstood by many people. The idea behind this is that you become one
team. And, a team consists of different people with different personalities and
strengths that work towards some common goals. If you lose yourself in a
relationship, and begin to conform to your partner’s expectations and demands,
your team can become weak. So, here are some ways;
1. Change but don’t lose
Small changes are healthy for a
relationship, and are encouraged all the time. If you will feel that you will
be happy and content with the changes you make in yourself, or the promises
that you make to your partner for your relationship, then it is fine. But, it
does not mean changing your entire personality. Not being able to recognise
yourself in a few years, or as soon as a few months in the relationship, can be
damaging for you and your bond. Making your partner happy is one thing, but
doing everything to please him or her is not a good idea.
2. Just a part, not the whole
Having common interests, activities,
friends, thought process and even habits is fine, as long as it all comes
naturally. But when it becomes forced, it destroys your individuality and your
relationship. So, make your partner a part of your world, but don’t make them
your world! Whether it is hanging out with friends, playing sports, working on
some ‘artsy’ projects, or your career, keep doing those things that always make
you happy, and more importantly, make you who you are. Don’t lose yourself in
the depths of the relationship and love.
3. Don’t forget “me”
ften, couples try to merge their
partner into their interests all the time, dragging them everywhere they go and
for everything they do. At times it is fine, as it helps you to bond with each
other. But, if you don’t like what your partner does, then you will just be
“pretending”. And, one thing we all know is that pretence is never good for any
relationship. You don’t have to take up each and every interest that your
partner has, to make them happy and pleased.
4. “They” need you too
Keep family and old friends close,
and make new friends. Don’t forget your “own world”– the world that existed
before they came into your life. You must keep this world close to you as well,
because your partner is not going to be around you at all times, and you don’t
want to feel alone, incomplete, and bored without them. These are the people,
apart from your partner, who have and will always be around you to make your
life easier. They too deserve your individual time and attention.
5. Don’t lose “I” in “We”
When you are not with him, try not
to mention him in every conversation you have with someone, and avoid texting
him when you are with your friends or family. Not only is it annoying for
others, it is also about being obsessive for your own good. All this might seem
fine at the start of a new relationship, but not in the long run. Addressing
yourself as “we” is okay when relevant, but don’t forget that there is an “I”
in you as well.
6. Stand up for I
Too many arguments and fights may
not be good for the relationship. Yet, letting go of your opinions, or
suppressing your true feelings every time is not good! If it is not important,
you can give it up and you need not create an issue. But if you really feel strongly
about something, and if it upsets you, you must stand up for yourself, and tell
your partner that you are not okay about it.
7. Love yourself unconditionally
Don’t forget that they fell in love
with the person you were before you were in the relationship. They were drawn
to the “you” that existed without “him/her”. So, don’t ever let that person go,
or you might just end up losing your partner’s interest, or worse, your partner
as well. Falling in love is great. But keep some love for yourself as well.
Both you and your partner have individual lives, along with your life together. Balance has always been the key to any kind of success, and the same applies here
Both you and your partner have individual lives, along with your life together. Balance has always been the key to any kind of success, and the same applies here
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